Debra Whitson is the founder of Whitson Law PLLC, a family law firm with multiple offices across upstate New York, and Mediated Online Solutions, a virtual mediation platform she built to serve clients across jurisdictions. She is the author of *Divorce Like a Pro: A Better Way To Break Up* and has spent more than three decades practicing law. First, as a criminal prosecutor, then as a family law attorney who became one of the most vocal advocates for collaborative divorce and mediation in the state.
I asked Debra what led her to start her own firm.
"I spent 11 years in government service doing prosecution," she told me. "Working with victims of crimes - child victims, victims of domestic violence - everything from petty larceny to murder. It was a really fun start to my legal career, and I felt I was making meaningful change."
Over time, though, she saw gaps in how the system treated the very people she was fighting for. Victims of domestic and sexual violence were being blamed for staying, blamed for their circumstances, and failed by first responders who weren't asking the right questions or collecting the right evidence. So, she began training police, judges, prosecutors, and emergency responders, because she understood that the outcome for her clients depended on everyone in the system doing their part.
"I became driven on this mission to educate everybody to improve the system so we can improve the response to victims," she said. "I was kind of a change maker of one."
When her time in government service ended, she transitioned into matrimonial and family law. She mentored under a senior attorney at a time when New York was the last state in the country to allow only fault-based grounds for divorce - meaning every new client had to begin the process by cataloguing grievances against their spouse.
"It immediately threw gasoline on the fire," she said. "If there was a fire, it threw gasoline on the fire. If there wasn't a fire already, it started one. It starts parents off in a war that just escalates until everybody runs out of money. It felt gross. I just felt like I can't be part of this."
That conviction led her to collaborative divorce and mediation. She trained, got certified, and went out and tried to change the culture around her. She spoke to judges, lawyers, community groups, and employee assistance programs at large employers. She explained what mediation was, why it worked, and why it was better for families. Most people agreed it was a good idea. Not many changed their practices.
"I wasn't deterred," she said simply.
She opened her own firm, launched Mediated Online Solutions alongside it, and built a model that could serve clients the way she believed they deserved to be served. The pandemic accelerated the mediation side of her practice - families needed a way to resolve disputes without a courtroom, and Debra had already built the infrastructure to help them.
As the firm grew, she made a deliberate decision to scale through a fully remote, global team. This allowed her to expand faster while giving her staff the flexibility that keeps talented people engaged and committed. Managing a distributed team across time zones and cultures requires intentional effort, and Debra built a meeting culture around the firm's core values - celebrating wins, recognizing colleagues, and making space for the full humanity of everyone on the team.
The thread running through all of it is her commitment to the client experience. Every team member - including those who answer the phones and handle intake - goes through the National Association of Divorce Professionals Certified Divorce Specialist training. The goal is to ensure that everyone who touches a client's case understands what that client is actually going through.
That commitment runs deeper than process.
"We're committed to making the experience as smooth and easy as possible, knowing that many people aren't thrilled about having to hire a family attorney. Even if they know this is the right direction, it's still painful and it's a loss. When they feel like they're being angry or prickly with us, it's not about us. They're having a hard time."
"I'm innately driven to just change things and make things better."
She is currently completing her second book, *Custody Done Right*, and continues to mediate cases across jurisdictions.
Are you dealing with a family law or custody matter in New York? Connect with Debra Whitson and check out WhitsonLaw.